Remembering

It's three years since my dad passed away. I know he'd have been thrilled about us expecting our first baby soon, and he'd have been a wonderfully caring and fun-loving grandfather. I guess I'll have to help my little boy get to know his granddad through pictures and fond memories, through stories and just through being the way I am, as I do what I can to include some of my dad's sparkle in my everyday life.

I might indulge in a little glass of champagne this evening .... here's to you, Papa Dick!



(Image source)

❆ winter blues already? ❆

It's the first day of winter today and I'm nestled in our little cottage in Port Fairy, where the weather is beautifully clear and sunny but I have to stay inside and do lots of work. Walks on the beach with the dogs later should help me get some fresh air ....

I'm really missing my dad. I know he would have loved staying down here - he would have had a little boat out on the river in no time, and I'm sure he'd have worked enthusiastically with G, fixing up the house, building boats in our back yard and puttering about in the bay. Even though he lived on a tropical island with a picture-perfect lagoon virtually on his doorstep, he just loved meeting new people, working with timber and boating in all sorts of climates, and this would have been a great little getaway for him.

Whenever I walk across the little old wooden bridge that spans the river and looks over the port, I can't help wishing my dad could share some time in this pretty little village with me.

I love this place but these thoughts are bittersweet.


(Image sources: 1, 2, 3, 4 & 5)

Two years already

It's two years today since my father passed away suddenly. We've had many new experiences in the intervening time, and I still find it hard to imagine that I won't be able to see him or talk to him again.

Today I guess I'll just quietly think about the joy he brought to many people, the happy memories we shared, and the wonderful things I learnt from him. He was a good man.


(* He didn't fly for Swissair, but his captain's uniform always made him look dapper, just like this chap!)

.....

They say that the pain of losing someone you love eases with time.
I hope so.

Sometimes sadness can be paralysing.

 
Image source

Whump!

My moods have been up and down of late. On the tram this morning the sadness just came and whumped me upside the head, and I got stuck with that dreaded "uh-oh-my-chin-is-trembling---please-don't-look-at-me-or-ask-me-a-question-'cause-I-might-start-blubbering-and-you'll-think-I'm-a-madwoman...." feeling.

I will miss my dad so much. I wish I could give him a hug and continue our cheerful, fun-filled conversations.

I guess I'll just keep on enjoying the little things while waiting for time to work its magic and take the edge off a bit ...

Meanwhile, here are some snapshots for you (from Rarotonga last month):














.... wish I could show you the sublimely beautiful night sky ....

Big day

Since arriving home on Sunday night, my head has been an absolute whirlwind .... I started my new job on Monday (feeling extremely nervous and unprepared), straight into lectures and meetings and class prep. Yesterday afternoon I went to a service for the bushfire victims - sitting out on the South Lawn at Melbourne Uni as dust and leaves swirled around in the fierce, hot winds, we were reminded of the continuing horror of this awful tragedy. A student read out a list of towns affected by the fires - it seemed to go on forever. Members of the university community who have lost their lives and homes were also remembered. It's just so sad.

This morning I took my first tutorial and attended a meeting before heading home early. This afternoon we're holding a public memorial service for my dad; I'm looking forward to celebrating the life of that wonderful man, and sharing happy memories with those who loved him. I've written the eulogy, and G will read a poem.

I think this weekend I will just try and sleep.

Final arrangements

An update for our family and friends ...


G and I will fly tomorrow to Rarotonga, where the funeral services for my dad will commence immediately upon our arrival at the airport (at 2:40am!). Various ceremonies have been scheduled throughout the day, at the end of which my father will be laid to rest in a family plot on their garden property. Dad's family and friends on the island have done a wonderful job in preparing for a beautiful, memorable day, and I'm glad to think of him going home to such a peaceful resting place, where he is remembered with love.

Back in Australia, a public memorial service will be held from 5:45pm on Wednesday, March 4th, at the chapel of Wesley College in St Kilda Road, Melbourne. Guests are invited to join us for an informal gathering after the service, where refreshments will be served (venue details to be confirmed soon).

In lieu of flowers, the family welcomes contributions to a fund we have established with Kiva. Contributions can be made in my father's name by following this link or searching in the Community section of Kiva's website for the team name: Dick Adamson Memorial Fund. Further information about lending through a Kiva team can be found here.


Dad was an enthusiastic supporter of Kiva (among many other philanthropic projects) - his many loan project details can be viewed here.

That cheeky grin ...

I've never met anyone who lived in the moment quite the way my dad did. Even in his 60s he was still a big kid at heart, delighting in the little things, always excited by the possibilities...

Dad was the one who would cheer a convoy of wedding cars passing on the street, stop and talk to anyone and everyone about their bicycle, motorbike, car, boat, clothing, artwork, house, work, haircut, you name it. He was cheeky and irreverent, comical and lighthearted, quiet and thoughtful. From him I learned important lessons about being alive in the world, about seeing and learning and constant discovery. I learnt about generosity, not just in a material sense, but generosity of spirit. Dad rarely, if ever, criticised others, and he had an uncanny knack for finding the positives in any situation. Although I'm sure he often worried about me and some of the choices I made in life, he respected my decisions, willingly acting as a loving, supportive sounding board when I sought guidance.

What I hope I've learnt most from my dad is a certain way of being in the world. I loved his curiosity, his playfulness, his delight and interest in everything. I remember visiting him on Rarotonga several years ago. He had built a wonderful telescope when he was studying astrophysics, and he was certainly bitten by the stargazing bug. I don't blame him either, 'cause the starscape above that little island in the Pacific is absolutely breathtaking, shimmering millions in a sky of blackest velvet. At around midnight on the first or second night of my visit, I heard a tapping at the glass door of my bedroom:

"Juddie! Juddie! Do you want to come and look at the stars?!". I jumped out of bed, and sure enough, the sky was more brilliant than I could have imagined. We sat out on the deck, taking it in turns to peer through the telescope lens, until eventually we got sleepy and retired to bed. Then, at 2 o'clock ... "Juddie! Come and look at this!!". - Up I popped again, and was thrilled to see the rings of Saturn come into focus as Dad twiddled with dials to tweak the telescope for me. Amazing. We zoomed in on detailed sections of the moon, exploring the craters with their vast canyons and mountains. I was pretty impressed by my dad's telescope-making skills, but after a while I needed to head back to bed, where I slept quite soundly....

...until.... at 4 o'clock ..... "Juddie!!! D'you want to come and have a look at this???" No thanks Dad. Much as I love you .....

Even as he got older, Dad never subscribed to the concept of slowing down. I know that in the past few months he had been passionately learning about geology, anatomy and mathematics, taking lectures through a remote university study program. As well as this he spent his time renovating houses, building furniture, working with Tai on their property, caring for Grandma, reading up on politics, world news, scientific studies and boatbuilding techniques, messing about in boats, cycling around Melbourne, patronising farmers markets, bookshops, film festivals, music shops and art installations, barracking for his beloved Kangaroos, planning the expansion of sustainable energy generation systems throughout the Cook Islands, preparing for travel ...

Dad wasn't going to let life pass him by.

Thank you

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone, near and far, who has sent their love and support this week. Your kind words are the sweetest gift.

G and I will fly next Friday to Rarotonga, where my dad will be laid to rest after a traditional island ceremony. I'm very sad but it's nice to think of him being at home, at peace.


(one of dad's beautiful boats was named Kakaia, the white fairy tern)

A teardrop, a smile....

I'll miss you so much, Dad.

RGA

I received the sad news today that my father passed away last night; it was sudden and unexpected and my heart is breaking.


It's hard to express the loss of such a beautiful spirit...
We were very close.



(image from here)